Edmond Keenan Wynn is a member of a very old and famous family of actors whose names at the moment he cannot recall. He began writing professionally at the age of four publishing his first book, "Younger Than Charlemagne, Prettier Than Degas," at six-and-a-half.

Wynn attended private schools and enjoyed all the benefits that fame and fortune can bestow. Women adored him and men found him refreshing and simple-minded. His masters at school doted on him and gave him A's on all his exams, let him sleep late whenever he scored a winning basket or scored a touchdown. He always got extra helpings of cake and the older boys did not beat him up on a daily basis.

At ten Wynn went off to the University of Pennsylvania where he was the youngest boy to ever attend an Ivy League school. Several of his professors found him quite attractive and particularly like calling him Edmond Keenan.

Upon graduating summa cum laude with a degree in civil engineering and a minor in Middle Walloon In Antwerps-Kempisch, Wynn went to New York and produced a play, "Crying All The Way To The Bank," which received the New York Critics Circle Award and several Tonys.

At seventeen Wynn married the youngest daughter of the Aga Khan and lived for many years in Cyprus where he wrote a volume of poems entitled "Bring Me A Cold One, Willya Honey?" a song cycle of laments about marzipan and its inability to restructure the subconscious in a positive, life-affirming way. His divorce from Priscilla Jane was particularly bitter and for years afterward Wynn wandered Europe bemoaning the fate of any man foolish enough to fall in love with the daughter of anyone as fat as the Aga Kahn. "They're just bitter, bitter people," Wynn recalls. He always repeats the word bitter as though to say they really were bitter bitter people*.

Once back in Hollywood, Wynn set about writing screenplays. Almost immediately he got a ten-picture deal with Universal adapting everything Michael Crichton wrote. He made millions but lost it all on Keno at the Sho-Kah-Wah Indian Reservation casino in Sonoma County, California. The Indians began referring to him as White-Guy-Afraid-Of-His-Wallet.

At present Wynn is happily married to his second wife, Donna, and living in Madrid where he is the curator of the Prado Museum and specializing in the High Renaissance Art of Finland. He is working on a new self-help book, "Marry Thin," a coffee table book called "Marble: Wax Or Dry Clean?", and a screenplay about very small ducks which get into the bloodstream and drive people into a frenzy during migration. The title of the screenplay is "Whose Ventricle Is This, Anyway?"

A brief stint working at Home Depot gave rise to the saying "Comedy is easy, working at Home Depot is hard," which has since passed into the vernacular and is used by stand-up cashiers everywhere.

*see Naomi Wolf's "Edmond Keenan Wynn, The Man, The Sexist, The Lover, The Divine" Random House, 1988